Recently a friend gave me a copy of “GeoCurmudgeon,” an essay by John P. Bachner in Geo-Strata (American Society of Civil Engineers Geo-Institute, May/Jun 2005, reprinted in TLE with permission). Ironically, the person who gave me this clever instantiation (look it up; it's a good word) didn't get it. If you don't understand it either, I'll clarify at the end. So start reading:

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